


peel out the watchword

by sassyscarecrows



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Also eventually, Angst, Depression, Fluff, Gen, I'll add more tags as this goes on, Smut, eventually, peggy has suicidal thoughts and stuff like that
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-08-14
Packaged: 2019-06-24 06:53:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15625158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sassyscarecrows/pseuds/sassyscarecrows
Summary: she made her way down the obnoxiously large flight of stairs leading to the front door, dropped her keys in the bowl on the shelf, and walked outside.that was the day peggy schuyler went missing.





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> heya! i know this chapter is really short, but as this story goes on i can Assure you that chapters will get longer.

**_august 19th, 2010_ **

peggy gripped the edge of her bathroom counter, the dark brown curls of her hair falling around her face as she glared at her reflection in the mirror. black-tinted mascara tears stained her plump, red cheeks.

she was so _tired_. tired of being the forgotten sister, tired of being treated like dogshit by everyone who only used her to get to her sisters, tired of being pitied by them. she was tired of being margarita schuyler. 

she let out a frustrated growl at no one, gripping at the ends of her hair and tugging gently. her eyes fell to a pair of hair cutting scissors resting in the basket on top of her toilet, and, after a few seconds of thought, quickly snatched them up as if someone else was going to.

she returned to looking at herself in the mirror again, this time grabbing a section of her hair and bringing the scissors up to it. snip. the sound of scissors cutting through hair rang throughout the quiet bathroom, curly tendrils falling into the sink. peggy immediately felt something spark inside of her, and she quickly moved to another chunk of her hair, cutting her previously long hair up to her shoulders. after 5 minutes, she finally snapped out of it and really looked at herself in the mirror. "holy shit.." she heard herself whisper as she ran her hands through her hair.

what had previously been curly hair that went down to the small of her back was now a short bob, and peggy couldn't be any happier. her parents had never let her cut her hair the way she wanted to. they told her that her hair was _so beautiful_ and she would _hate having short hair, remember when angelica cut her hair short?_

she smirked at the thought of her parent's reactions, before thinking about her sisters. they would be so mad at her, they would think she was such a little brat for going against her parent's wishes. she felt her hands start to tremble, and she quickly ran out of the bathroom and into her bedroom.

she couldn't deal with her parents, angelica and eliza, her little siblings, she just.. couldn't deal. not anymore.

she grabbed the yellow duffel bag she kept under her bed, grabbing whatever she could and stuffing it inside. clothes, toiletries, her phone and charger, and a necklace angelica gave her for her 10th birthday. she zipped up the bag, threw on a hoodie, and made her way out of her room.

it was late at night, and everyone was asleep (or, at least, in their room,) so peggy knew she could get away with this. she stormed down the hallway, stopping when she heard a familiar set of giggles come from angelica's room.

angelica and _eliza's_ giggles.  _together._ without peggy.

she didn't realize she was crying until she heard herself hiccup. _you don't have to deal with this anymore. they won't even notice you're gone. they won't care._

peggy knew that the voice was right, she knew that after a while no one would care about her being gone anymore. _go on, peggy. you'll feel better after you leave._

after a few seconds of staring at her sister's door, she finally made up her mind.

she made her way down the obnoxiously large flight of stairs leading to the front door, dropped her keys in the bowl on the shelf next to it, and walked outside.

and on august 19, 2010, margarita schuyler went missing.


	2. chapter one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tw for this chapter: james makes maria/peggy give him a blowjob. it's not very graphic, but it does get gross. please stay safe!!  
> also, just bc i didn't mention it in the last chapter:  
> peggy is 25 here, eliza is 26, and angelica is 27. (also feburary 20th is angelica's birthday for those who don't know)

"maria," james voice cut through the girl's thoughts, slamming his hand down on the kitchen table where the two were seated, causing her to jerk to attention, "you aren't listening to me." he hissed. maria blushed, looking down at her lap.

"sorry, james. i'm so sorry." she apologized, fidgeting with her dark red skirt. she heard her husband huff out a disgruntled noise. 

"don't let it happen again, or i swear to god i'll break your wrist." he threatened before continuing with his story, bitching about some dude at work. his co-worker or something. maria nodded, her hand snaking its way up to the gold necklace on her neck, rubbing the heart-shaped pendant at the end nervously.

"...he told me his kid got sick, and i was just like, man, your job is more important than some fuckin' snot nosed brat. he got so pissed at me and threatened to tell our boss like a fucking 5-year-old.." maria tried to listen to what he was ranting about, but she just couldn't.

it was feburary 20th. how could she focus on james when her mind was clouded with guilt?

"maria!" james barked at her, and maria heard herself squeak as she landed back in reality. "the fuck did i tell you!?" 

"i-i'm sorry! i just.. it was a long day at work, and--" james cut her off with a laugh.

"a hard day at work? please, all you do is give people food and wear that disgusting outfit. nothin' hard about that." he dismissed, rolling his eyes. "you don't have to deal with people constantly bitchin' about your attitude to your boss, fuckin' children.." he grumbled, mostly to himself.

maria sighed. "you're right. i don't know what i'm talking about. i'm sorry." she apologized once again. james grinned at her.

"it's okay, baby, you can make it up to me." she felt nausea swirl in the pit of her stomach, knowing exactly what he wanted. "don't you wanna make me feel good?"

maria forced herself to nod in response as she got onto her knees. she barely registered james unzipping his pants and sliding himself into her mouth, barely registered his grunts and the tugging on her hair.

 _i don't want this. i want angie. i want liza. i wanna go home!_  her mind screamed at him as he continued his steady thrusts into her mouth. she felt tears start to drip down her face, and silently hoped james wouldn't notice. 

she felt herself gag as he came down her throat, quickly pulling away from him as she coughed up the white substance. "i'm-" _cough, wheeze, spit,_ "s-sorry!"

james looked down at her in disgust, tucking himself back into his pants before standing up and making his way to the bathroom. "i'm taking a shower. this better be cleaned up by the time i get back out." he said, closing the door after him.

maria didn't respond to him, kneeling on the floor as she continued coughing violently, tears and snot dripping down her face. of course he didn't want to look at her. she was disgusting. she always had been. even as a naive teen who didn't know anything about the world, falling into his arms like everything was great as he showed her off to his friends, she was disgusting.

she was a rotten girl.

_peggy sat in the dark, damp alleyway, hiccuping and sobbing into her knees as heavy rain beat down on her hoodie, soaking through and making her short hair wet. her phone was dead, she didn't have any money left, and she was beyond lost. she was so fucking stupid._

_her hand rose up to the necklace hanging off her neck, gently squeezing the heart at the end. even if she did go back home, she realized bitterly, angelica and eliza would be so mad at her. they would probably convince their parents to kick her out. no one wants her anymore._

_before she could completely spiral, she realized that there was no more rain falling onto her head. she looked up quickly, wondering if maybe it had stopped raining, but was instead met with a grinning face._

_"hello, dear. what's the problem?" he asked sweetly, his smooth voice wrapping around her brain and making her feel dizzy. peggy wiped the tears away from her face, shrugging._

_"i don't have anywhere to go anymore." she admitted, pulling her dirty duffel bag closer to her. the man grinned at her, and peggy felt her heart thumb against her ribs. why was he looking at her like that?_

_"why don't you come with me? i'll help you out." he reached his hand out, and she lifted her hand up to meet his, hesitating for a moment before taking it and standing up, slinging her bag over her shoulder. "good girl. what's your name, beautiful?" he asked._

_"ma-" peggy had to stop herself from saying margarita. he had probably heard her name through the grape vine. "maria. maria lewis." she lied, smiling softly._

_"beautiful name. my name is james reynolds." his eyes sparkled with something mischievous, and she felt herself shrink under his gaze. "let's get to my car."_

_and from that day on, she was no longer margarita 'peggy' schuyler. she became maria reynolds, a tired teen girl who left behind a life of beauty and riches for a stupid, selfish reason._


	3. chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry that this took for fucking ever to write hkjshk   
> anyway, this chapter is from angelica's pov! i hope you guys enjoy it ^^

"auntie 'gelica!" philip squealed, the toddler running at full speed toward his aunt. the older woman held her arms open for him, squatting down to his height and hugging him tightly.

"hi, handsome boy!" she replied, her voice sickly sweet as she embraced her nephew, lifting him up into her arms. "how are you, sweetie?" she asked lovingly, ruffling his curly hair.

"good! happy cause it's your birthday!" the child squeaked, practically vibrating with excitement. "momma has your presents!" he added in before looking around excitedly. angelica grinned down at him.

"your cousin is in the den with gram and grandpa." she informed, letting him go running into the den. she stood up, smiling at her brother-in-law as he approached the front door.

"why the hell are children so fast?" alexander asked, his tone playful. he then looked at angelica, grinning widely. "happy birthday, angelica." he opened his arms up for a hug, which she gratefully accepted. while she had a husband and child, and her feelings for alexander had faded over time, she couldn't deny that there were still some there.

"thank you, alex. now! where is my favorite niece and sister?" she asked when she pulled away from him. eliza was beaming as she walked up the two stairs to get to the front door, holding her newborn daughter in her arms.

"angie!" she squealed happily, almost as excited as philip. alexander, knowing how much they had missed each other, took little angie out of eliza's arms so that they could hug.

they held each other tightly for a few moments, warmth surrounding them even though the harsh feburary breeze was coming in through the opened door (which alexander quickly closed, not wanting anyone to get sick.) "i missed you, ang. happy birthday." eliza whispered to her sister before pulling away, taking off her blue jacket and hanging it on the coat rack. "shall we go see mom and dad?" she asked, her brown eyes glimmering with childish excitement.

"of course, but first i need some niece bonding time!" she grinned widely as she looked over at the baby in alexander's arms. alexander gently handed her baby angie, the little girl being dressed in a salmon-colored dress with matching socks and a jacket. angelica smiled lovingly down at her.

"alexander," she heard eliza's voice say, "will you go make sure philip isn't talking mom and dad's ears off? pretty pleeeaassee?" angelica smirked when she heard alexander's loving sigh and his footsteps walking towards the other room. as soon as he was out of the room, eliza huddled close to her, resting her head on her sister's shoulder. "how are you doing today, angelica?" she asked her elder sister, looking up at her. "i know everything must be overwhelming.."

angelica sighed, looking at the ground for a second. "mom and dad won't talk about it. it's like... it's like they forgot about her." she murmured, playing with her niece's thin, curly hair. "i don't think they even care anymore, liza."

eliza made a sad noise at that, wrapping her arms around her sister's middle. "i know.. i miss her so much, angie. she should be here with us, with her niece and nephews." she whispered sadly, her voice trembling.

"i know, eliza, i know." angelica whispered back, resting her forehead against eliza's. even if it had been 8 years, neither of them had gotten over their baby sister's disappearance. the fact that no one knows what happened to her is what drives angelica crazy. is she dead? is she alive? and if she is alive, is she _safe?_

every year ever since peggy left, angelica's birthday wish had always been for her to come back. even though she was a usually realistic woman, she needed peggy to come back into their lives.

little did she know, eliza did the same thing.

\--

_"angelica! elizabeth! wake up!" her father's booming voice caused angelica to shoot awake, her head cloudy with exhaustion as she blinked. "whuh?" she mumbled, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes and pulling the ponytail out of her hair._

_"when's the last time you guys saw peggy?" her mother's desperate voice made her pay more attention. she was quiet for a second, trying to place when the last time she actually saw her baby sister was._

_"uhm.. last night when me and eliza were watching tv, i think?" she tried, furrowing her brows. "what's going on, mom? is she okay?" angelica asked, sitting up straight and shaking eliza awake._

_"she's.. we haven't seen her all day, angelica! she won't answer our calls!" her mother practically sobbed, shaking. "what if she's hurt?"_

_angelica stood up, wrapping her mother in her arms. "hey, hey, shh.. i'm sure she's okay. she's probably just.. out with her friends or something? do you want me to call her?" angelica asked gently, trying to hide her own anxiety. her mother nodded pathetically. "liza, hand me my phone." eliza, who was now mostly awake and sitting up, handed angelica her phone._

_the girl quickly went to peggy's caller ID, hitting the 'call' button._

_it was almost immediately declined._

_"fuck!" she hissed, her grip tightening on the phone. "maybe her phone just died?" angelica lifted her head up to look at her mother, who was close to sobbing. "hey, hey-- liza, could you please?" she turned to her sister, telling her to help her mother out with a vague gesture. eliza nodded in understanding, standing up and rushing to her mother's side._

_"come here, mom, let's go make some tea." she heard her sister soothe, leading their mom out the room. angelica then turned to her father, letting the brave exterior she put on for her mother melt._

_"dad? do you think peggy's okay?" she asked quietly, wrapping her arms around herself and sitting on her bed. "what if.. do you think she ran away?"_

_her father exhaled. "i.. i don't know, angelica. maybe you're right, and her phone did just die and she's on her way home." he replied, ruffling angelica's hair before turning to walk out of the room. "get ready for the day, love."_

\--

_her world stopped when she heard her mother sobbing._

_angelica frantically ran downstairs, stopping when she saw what her mother was holding._

_peggy's keys._

_she tried to soothe her mom, saying that maybe peggy just forgot them, you know how forgetful she is, "remember when she forgot her shoes at the beach that one time?" but nothing worked. they stayed up half the night waiting for peggy to come home, the silence of the house thick and heavy._

_no amount of waiting, angelica had realized bitterly a few hours into waiting, would bring peggy back. she knew that they had to do something. "mom," she started gently, "we should call the police or something. they'll help us find her."_

_her mother reluctantly agreed to the idea, and after she called her father and eliza down, they called the police. at first, the cops went all out (mostly because the schuylers were one of the most powerful families in new york. angelica knew that if they were just a normal family, no one would even care that much,) but after about two months, they gave up on searching._

_angelica and eliza fell apart when they realized the police didn't care anymore, crying into each other's hair and not leaving the house for days. neither of them were over it, obviously, but they had learned to deal with it more._

_or, thats what they told themselves, at least. there were still nights where angelica would mourn the loss of her sister, crying and trembling until the sun came up. she knew that she would never truly get over peggy's disappearance._

_every once in a while, angelica was sure she could see peggy. she always thought she saw her walking down the street, or buying wine and frozen ready made dinners, or sitting at the park all alone, but the logical part of her brain knew that her sister was probably... gone. forever._

_she just had to learn how to deal with that._


End file.
